Mushrooms

[aresian]

There are many mushrooms and so many different kinds and so much nuance to understanding the subtle differences between those that kill, those that make ill, and those that are edible. The kind I'm discussing has a proper name but it escapes me at the current moment. The main chemical that makes it psychoactive is psilocybin and has been researched as an alternative medicine to helping terminally ill patience cope with their impending death (with questionable results only because it wasn't researched enough). I know the reaction one gets upon the mind and body is a form of food poisoning so I would categorize this mushroom as a toxin (those that make ill). So, the consumption of the particular mushrooms that hold this chemical is not advised and even having experienced it and survived I wouldn't say the use of this mushroom should or should not be used. I feel in my heart that a mature conscious, intelligent, and reasonable human being should be capable of making a choice as to what goes into their body.

Now I have the technicalities completed (except the name of the mushroom-which is going to drive me nuts until I remember it). I go on to the journey side of my experiences with this mushroom.

[aresian]

The journey: I started it as a ceremony. I left myself a stack of papers, plenty of items to write with and a clear open space. I also included music I could turn on or off easily with no effort made to load discs, fine websites, or do anything technical while my mind was under an altered state. I learned through previous experiences that if I did not have these things set I would encourage a negative experience by trying to figure them out while "altered."

I remember the whole experience as it happened and how it happened. Thanks, in part, to an extensive journal I wrote. I took the mushrooms directly just a quick chew and swallow because they taste like shit (understatement) or to me like stale dirty popcorn. Anyways, I waited listening to my 12 hour lineup of music and just waited. After twenty minutes I wrote down what I was feeling as the affects began to increase. It felt like I was super focused on something that wasn't there. I did feel a broader "awareness" that simply can't be described. I began to fixate on single thoughts at a time in an extremely intense manner but still, in real time, quickly changing thoughts. When I hit the peak of the chemical's influence I did not write any longer. I walked around because activity keeps the experience from going into a dark place (which can cause a bad trip for me as I learned from the first time I ever ate mushrooms of this kind). I walked outside and that is the most calming of areas for me. I watched what was the breeze blowing the grass and leaves in the trees appear to my altered perception as the grass was breathing in waves and the leaves were vibrating in patterns I could see. That is called "tracers" I believe where your focus on your eyes is so altered it causes visual cues to be delayed or look as though there is a trailing of light or color from the image being seen. Anyways, I walked into my home and followed what I thought was a string of light (which is ok in my mind to think anything was odd would ruin the experience so I just went with the visions). Upon this strand of bluish-white light I walked I saw faces of ancient gods. I focused on a goddess and simply memorized her face and a name. I came back to my journal and wrote down what vision the goddess gave me and what she "said." I noticed in my journal my writing began to form into spirals and I would do such odd writing as squeeze it into the corners of the page and some pages just had my scribbles of trying to draw things. My writing trailed off at the end of the letters in a very pretty way. I got lost in my own journal writing. I wrote about a key, a spiral, and doors. I was convinced this was all in my head and so I shut the book and listened to the rest of my music. I became aware among a pile of all my covers and pillows from the whole house stacked into a neat little nest on my living room floor. That's ok though I purposely left enough pillows and covers around for just such a need. It is quite something to get lost in a comforter. Anyways, after I was sober I went to collect the notes I wrote. Some were pictures and my little journal actually had a formal written notation on the experience according to each hour (minus the 1 hour at the zenith of the trip). I found I did write in spirals and beautiful patterns along the page. So, my perception of what I was doing while on the mushrooms wasn't so extreme I blacked out I really knew what I was doing I just didn't care if it was odd behavior. What I explained was a combination of a few trips where I took mushrooms because I don't have the journal right now.

Overall, the purpose of explaining my experiences is to understand perceptions. The most "christian" people I know have freaked out while on such substances to the extreme because they do not respond well to their perceptions being challenged. Since I lucid dreamed well before I ever took these substances I knew how to handle what my mind came up with. Even if something was totally off the wall I simply followed that thought or let it pass in favor of the next one. I never let my mind dwell on any thought like "this isn't right, this shouldn't happen, I'm going to die..." because those thoughts push you to a very deep dark place that you will spend your whole trip in and it will suck. I wanted to take the mushrooms as a spiritual experience. It took more than one time to create a ceremony that worked well with how I reacted to psilocybin. Like knowing to stack the cushions around so I could get them, keeping stacks of paper within easy reach, and having a well composed song list. For me the songs have to be without vocals because human voices push me the wrong way when I'm "tripping." Anyways, the environment is good to have under control before you begin then you need to know your body. I was super aware of all my internal workings while I was tripping my stomach would growl and it would startle me but then I'd realize I was just hungry and I would go grab a snack. Then you have to realize how you think before you have an altered experience. I saw demons, gods, and goddesses and didn't freak out because I saw those in dreams that were far more strange than anything I've ever seen on mushrooms so I'm able to handle it when my mind tricks me into thinking I'm walking along the heavens looking at gods and such. I just swing with the experience like it was a dream that threw something odd and I just deal with it and move on to the next scene.

The results the next day were minimal. I never felt any ill affect other than the fact I didn't get much sleep (the chemical does affect dreams a lot). Just because I survived and had a positive experience does not mean that will be the same for anyone else. Do what you will under your own judgment. I'm just sharing an experience I had that worked well for me. In a spiritual sense it just verified what I already was seeing without the added chemical. It was a test of myself too I wanted to see what was left when all reasonable logic was gone from my mind. I'm glad to see I'm still a calm and introspective creature at heart even when the room is melting. I just nod my head and give a little smile and wait for the next thought.

A word from my experience is once psilocybin starts reacting there is no stopping it. You are stuck on the journey as you were when you started ready or not. For me it took 12 hours to work out of my system. The biggest risk, for me since I had no physical ill affects, was getting bored and being unable to sleep. Have colorful movies but I wouldn't suggest them or any vocal music but that's just me and my experience and what made it spiritual and insightful was taking notes and analyzing what messages I received. Like a lucid dream the experience told me a lot about myself and that is why I did it and I say mission accomplished then. By the way this was 2 years ago and I no longer have any wish, want, or perceived need to do consume any more mushrooms with that chemical in them.


-Aresian-